Are you facing challenges within your marriage? Are you looking for an approach that can deliver rapid support? Our 3-day marriage counseling retreat program, Marriage Quest®, has supported thousands of couples from Virginia and throughout the USA in achieving meaningful outcomes. Our extensively trained couples counseling therapists can evaluate your relationship circumstances and provide recommendations and resources to help you work through your challenges and create a roadmap for an improved future.
Whether your marriage is facing a crisis or simply requires minor adjustments, our intensive marriage retreat can equip you with the resources and understanding necessary to address even the most challenging and apparently overwhelming difficulties.
Sustaining a thriving marriage requires dedication, and numerous individuals haven’t developed the abilities needed to work through the obstacles that emerge in committed romantic partnerships. We’re convinced that every couple possesses the capacity for a rewarding and satisfying marriage, and our mission is to provide you with the appropriate resources to achieve that reality.
Throughout our retreat, we’ll instruct you in the essential skills and guide you on implementing them successfully with your partner. After your relationship has been given a genuine opportunity, we can engage in a candid discussion about compatibility when needed.
We get results for couples. You might not want to bring your luxury car to a local mechanic for a repair. Most therapists are generalists who work with a variety of people and issues. At Marriage Quest, we specialize in couples retreats.
Whether you are looking for a tune up or a major overhaul, we’ve been there. We’ve helped other couples achieve similar goals. We triage, identify problems, and teach solutions. It’s transformation through warp speed therapy.
Dr David Helfand has an office in St Johnsbury, Vermont.
We are working to expand our offices to other locations around the US and further.
Couples therapy will generally cost anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 over the course of 365 days. A couples retreat is the same fee, but you will get even better results in only 3 or 4 days.
Please note that the exact fee will vary by therapist and for a weekend or weekday program. Contact us directly for specific pricing. Additionally, a non-refundable deposit is required in order to book your marriage retreat. In some cases, this deposit can be transferred one time.
No. Insurance only pays for traditional models of care such as weekly therapy. Many couples come to see us because the slow pace of traditional therapy has not worked for them or even hurt their relationship more.
No. Though we welcome your beliefs, Marriage Quest retreats are entirely non-religious and grounded in evidence-based therapy methods. They focus on practical skills, honest communication, and relationship clarity without faith-based content or religious instruction.
For couples in crisis or at a turning point, yes… especially when the retreat is private and intensive. The 3–4 day format condenses months of progress into a single weekend, helping couples make lasting decisions and see real change fast.
Yes. Many couples arrive in a sexless or low-sex marriage, and retreats often reignite intimacy by addressing emotional disconnection, rebuilding trust, and resolving long-standing resentments.
No, this is a private retreat for you. There is no group option.
We can assist you in addressing any challenges that you and your partner are encountering. Whether you have a specific objective in mind or are dealing with difficulties in various aspects of your relationship, we will collaborate with you to tackle as many issues as possible during our time together. More importantly, we will teach you how to resolve these challenges independently so that you can become self-reliant as a couple. As the saying goes, we aim to teach you how to fish rather than merely providing you with a fish.
Many couples contemplating divorce feel they have lost compatibility. This can be a distressing realization, but the truth is, you are likely still compatible and just need to cultivate the skills to mend what has been damaged.
Individuals aged 35 to 65 often grapple with profound questions about their life’s meaning, purpose, and direction. Particularly in the workplace, the 40s mark a period of existential exploration, which could lead to a mid life crisis. Feeling valued and recognized significantly contributes to our self-esteem and can either motivate us or stress us out if it’s lacking.
The majority of sexless marriages stem from an emotional disconnect. To not just survive but thrive in a sexless marriage, you and your partner need to engage in a deep discussion about your desires and fantasies, both directly and indirectly related to your
Regardless of the reasons or context for an affair, it’s painful and trust is severely damaged. Regrettably, while divorce may seem like a solution, about 80% of couples who separate due to an emotional affair eventually regret that decision.
Resentment in marriage often accumulates over time due to unresolved conflicts. Unresolved disagreements, traumatic experiences, and other tense moments in your relationship tend to linger and worsen over time if not addressed.
Feeling unheard, misunderstood, or dismissed can lead many couples to question their relationship’s future. Communication therapy for couples is fundamental to every Marriage Quest Retreat, with our aim being to help each spouse feel heard, understood, and respected.
The short answer is that intensive couples retreats get results in a few days while many couples struggle in therapy for years without achieving their goals.
We have heard from many couples that three days with us during their couples workshop brought more progress than they ever experienced in a year or more of weekly sessions. Couples are commonly surprised with how we are able to provide long-term results with such short-term therapy.
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Weekly therapy sessions require that you set time aside for an indefinite amount of months to meet with your therapist. These sessions are also often wedged between other events in your day, which means an especially emotional conversation leaves you vulnerable for the next agenda item after therapy. In contrast, setting aside a few consecutive days for a marriage retreat is more time efficient.
Have you ever tried to read a book or finish a project while people keep interrupting you? Having a stretch of time to work on anything is usually more efficient and satisfying. A couples retreat is a time for you and your partner to prioritize the relationship by taking a break from the demand of every day life.
Did you ever feel like you were just getting warmed up when the therapist had to end the session? We have experienced the choppy nature of stop and start therapy separated by a week or two. That is why the Marriage Quest ® process was developed. Having the luxury of a few hours allows us to create momentum and go deeper into any marital issue.
Research has shown that the overall success of any marriage counseling is about 70 to 90%. This is usually based on couples that have been in therapy for many months or years. We see the same results in about 3 days.
A Marriage Quest couples retreat is like warp speed therapy. Imagine a really good counseling session and all of the benefits that come from it. Now imagine a dozen of back-to-back sessions that are able to build momentum and go deeper because of the luxury of time each day.
Most couples are looking to save their marriage, yet others are looking for relief from their painful situation. They are satisfied if they can separate with grace and dignity knowing that they’ve tried everything and knowing that they will be kind co-parents for their children.
Traditional marriage counseling often separates the couple so that either the same therapist sees each partner one at a time or the spouses both see two different counselors to deal with marital issues. If your marriage is in crisis, then the marriage must be in therapy.
During your retreat, our focus is on holding both of you accountable to improving the relationship and achieving your goals. We also start meeting with you as a couple from the very beginning of the retreat including the intake process.
Another benefit of a retreat is the momentum we can create during the multiple hours we meet with you. Many couples have told us how frustrating it is to just start getting to the root of an issue when the therapist tells them their time is up for today.
While the gold standard of success during a marriage intensive is that the couple is able to reconcile and improve their marriage, there are other useful outcomes.
Some couples are no longer compatible with each other, and it’s in the best interest of their health and happiness as well as their children’s longterm wellbeing for them to separate amicably.
They’ve come to realize that while they may love and care about each other very much, they might not lust each other or even like each other very much. When this is the case, it is bittersweet to decide to lovingly let go and move on, but this is often the best way to find peace and happiness for both individuals.
During more than a decade of professional service, Dr David Helfand (or Dr H) has helped hundreds of couples create a happier marriage and a more fulfilling life. He has been interviewed by multiple news organizations about his specialties in neuroscience, clinical psychology, mindfulness, and sex and intimacy. He uses his background in clinical psychology, neuroscience, and solution-focused therapy to help every client that enters his office.
Dr H is currently working on a training program to expand the Marriage Quest model to other areas of the country and eventually to international locations outside the United States.
We work with one couple at a time to address your specific needs and tailor the process for optimal growth and learning. Most couples in crisis choose a 3-day program, however Dr David Helfand at Marriage Quest offers 2-4 day programs depending on the needs of the couple. Every couples intensive is a custom designed retreat experience to help teach you a better approach to relationship issues, and hopefully create a deeper relationship between you and your spouse. Please review a general curriculum below.
After completing the registration process, we will send you a relationship questionnaire and access to our online couples course so that you can be most prepared for your retreat. Your questionnaire will allow us to prepare as well.
Please arrive the day before your retreat to settle into your hotel or Air BnB so that you are ready to start fresh the next morning. Some couples come in two days prior so they can explore the area or account for travel delays and jet lag. Retreats generally start at 10am and end around 1pm each day.
We have found that 3 hours is the optimal learning curve for most couples. People are generally most fulfilled after 3 hours of intensive therapy and find that a nap, lunch, and time to process gives them the best outcomes.
We begin by talking about marriage: what are the components of a happy marriage, what are the common challenges, how does sex fit into a healthy marriage, etc. Then we take a detailed history on each of you: about your family of origin, your cultural and religious influences, your current family situation, as well the roots of your romantic and sexual involvement with each other. We then switch gears and begin various tutorials and behavioral exercises focused on your specific needs. While you practice with each other and we coach you through your new skills. Many couples often feel exhausted at the end of the day and take a nap to recharge for the evening.
We will start by checking in on yesterday’s experience as well as your afternoon and evening together. Day 2 is usually the heavy lifting day, and we have 3 hours together to accomplish what we need to. We are going to address the topics that must be covered during your retreat in order to either work on your relationship goals or help you make a decision about the future of your marriage. We will guide you safely through those sensitive conversations by making sure you follow the guidelines for effective communication. This often means we interrupt a lot in the beginning, but as you become more comfortable and experienced, we will let you lead the discussion while guiding as needed.
Some spouses benefit from a brief individual meeting to discuss personal topics or work privately on some of the skills. When appropriate, we plan some time to address these topics with each spouse individually before integrating that work back into the relationship.
The third day is when we help you put together all of the information you have learned during the prior two days. We will discuss aftercare recommendations, topics regarding parenting, and wrap up any topics from the previous days. For couples that are considering separation or divorce, Day 3 is a pivotal moment. We will help you determine future compatibility and make a decision about the marriage.
The primary reason to schedule a fourth day is if trauma is impacting your marriage. People who have experienced childhood trauma in particular tend to be more sensitive. If one or both spouses enter fight-or-flight frequently during their interactions, then this is a sign that trauma work might be necessary in order to repair the relationship. It is highly recommended that your partner observe your trauma work during the retreat as it often creates deeper understanding and increased empathy.
Between each day of the retreat, you will be practicing the communications skills you are learning, talking to each other on a new deeper level about how your relationship began and grew (or did not grow), about your hopes and dreams for your self and for your relationship together, your regrets and sorrows, and where you see things going. In addition we will suggest other activities to do together, and hope that you can have some fun and relaxation after the day’s intensive session. Self reflection assignment are also often part of this process.
At the end of your retreat, we will review your customized aftercare plan. This often includes therapeutic recommendations, suggestions to continue improving communication skills, general ongoing homework, and applying what you learned once you return home.
We also offer virtual support after the retreat. Due to state licensing laws, this support is educational rather than clinical and may vary by therapist. Your provider will review the details with you on the last day of your program.
Some couples find that shorter tune-ups and maintenance sessions are helpful after their retreat. These options will also be discussed on the final day.
Our philosophy on marriage counseling is centered around the belief that your marriage deserves to be prioritized. We understand the immense trust you place in us when you entrust your marriage to our care. The goal of our couples therapy retreat is to equip you with a process that you can continue to apply even after you return home to Virginia. Our Marriage Quest Retreats, refined over four decades, are designed to deliver significant results in a very short period of time.
Our success lies in our focus on teaching effective couples communication and holding you accountable during sessions. We assist you in discussing issues related to sex and intimacy, and guide you on how to self-regulate and manage your emotional triggers. If a childhood wound or life trauma seems to be undermining your marriage, we employ experiential therapy to foster healing. We accomplish a great deal of work in a relatively short period of time by gauging just how much to push each of you for optimal growth. The process is deep, meaningful, and intense.
Couples are often blown away by how much work we can accomplish in such a short time. Have you ever had a really transformative therapy session? Imagine a dozen of them back-to-back over three days. The difference is we know what we are looking for, and therefore, where to go, and we do not waste time getting there. That is why we have always claimed that it is “short term therapy with long term results”. Oh, and did I mention warp speed therapy.
Note: we combine cognitive behavioral with experiential therapy, a powerful combination of treatment modalities that not only teach skills but can heal past trauma.
When you agree to a date, we send you the Sign-up paperwork to complete with payment information. Upon payment in full or the deposit portion, we give you the Questionnaire for each of you to complete. This helps you to prepare for the retreat and relax from dealing with your current issues.
During your retreat, our focus is on teaching you healthy communication skills and holding both of you accountable to improving your relationship and achieving your goals, whatever that might be. After teaching you the foundational skills, we explore each of your relationship strengths and challenges and offer support and guidance as needed. We have the option of meeting with one of you alone if it’s determined that it will serve your marriage and your personal goals. Since we work with one couple at a time, we have a lot of flexibility.
During your retreat, our focus is on teaching you healthy communication skills and holding both of you accountable to improving your relationship and achieving your goals, whatever that might be. After teaching you the foundational skills, we explore each of your relationship strengths and challenges and offer support and guidance as needed. We have the option of meeting with one of you alone if it’s determined that it will serve your marriage and your personal goals. Since we work with one couple at a time, we have a lot of flexibility.
In a loving and peaceful way. Tell them that you love them and share what you are feeling, perhaps lonely, depressed, anxious, unhappy, etc. Don’t ask any questions; just share that you are ready to do something about it and would like nothing more than to repair your relationship with them.
Please note that in order to host a retreat, we need both spouses present and participating. If one spouse decides to not attend or leave early, then the retreat cannot take place nor transferred or refunded.
A deposit is required in order to schedule your private couples retreat. The deposit is equal to half of the total fee.
When you are ready to get help, you are welcome to contact us about available dates for a couples retreat. Some couples prefer to schedule a phone consultation or ask questions via email, and any of our well trained therapists are happy to offer a free consultation before signing up for a marriage program.
Virginia, officially the Commonwealth of Virginia, is a southeastern U.S. state steeped in American history and natural beauty. Known as the “Mother of Presidents,” Virginia was home to eight U.S. presidents, including George Washington and Thomas Jefferson. The state played a pivotal role in both the founding of America and the Civil War, making it an essential destination for history enthusiasts.
Richmond serves as the capital, while Virginia Beach is the most populous city. The state boasts diverse geography, from the Atlantic coastline and Chesapeake Bay to the Blue Ridge Mountains and Shenandoah Valley. Colonial Williamsburg offers immersive historical experiences, while Arlington National Cemetery honors America’s fallen heroes. Visitors can explore Monticello, Thomas Jefferson’s architectural masterpiece, or tour Mount Vernon, George Washington’s beloved estate.
Virginia’s economy thrives on agriculture, technology, and defense. The state hosts major companies like Capital One and Dominion Energy, while Northern Virginia’s proximity to Washington, D.C. makes it a hub for government contractors and tech firms. Amazon’s HQ2 in Arlington represents the region’s growing tech prominence.
Education excellence defines Virginia through institutions like the University of Virginia in Charlottesville, founded by Jefferson, and Virginia Tech in Blacksburg, renowned for engineering and research. These prestigious universities contribute significantly to the state’s educated workforce and innovation ecosystem.
Tourism draws millions annually to Virginia’s diverse attractions. The Shenandoah National Park offers spectacular hiking and scenic drives along Skyline Drive. Virginia’s wine industry has flourished, with over 300 wineries throughout regions like Loudoun County and the Monticello Wine Trail. Historic sites include Jamestown, America’s first permanent English settlement, and numerous Civil War battlefields like Gettysburg and Antietam nearby.
The Hampton Roads area features NASA Langley Research Center and the world’s largest naval base in Norfolk. Virginia Beach combines resort amenities with military heritage, while cities like Alexandria showcase well-preserved colonial architecture.
The state’s official website at virginia.gov provides comprehensive information about government services, tourism, and business opportunities. From historic Jamestown to modern Northern Virginia’s tech corridor, Virginia seamlessly blends its colonial heritage with contemporary innovation, offering residents and visitors alike a unique combination of history, natural beauty, and economic opportunity.
