The Dangers of a Sexless Marriage

A sexless marriage. While it’s not something you’d want necessarily participate in, experts estimate that nearly 15 to 20 percent of American couples aren’t being intimate regularly. It’s a very rare marriage in which both spouses are happy with a no-sex policy, says Israel Helfand, marriage counselor, sex therapist, and member of the American Association…

An Interview with Israel and Cathie Helfand

Dr. Israel Helfand is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who works with his wife and co-therapist, Cathie, running Marriage Quest retreats at their 1850s homestead in northern Vermont. The Helfands have been working together, as a couple, with couples for over 20 years since they met in graduate school in Bridgeport, Connecticut. Today their…

Men and Women, Dealing with Each Other

In our work with men since 1980, we’ve gradually begun to see that these men feel inadequate in dealing with the women in their lives — wives, daughters, mothers, employees, employers, supervisors, colleagues, and so on. The workplace is filled with confusion these days since attention has focused on the issue of sexual harassment in…

Acting Out the Aggravating Scenes of Life

DANBURY – Playing. That’s what grown-ups call it when kids do it – a thousand different variations on “You be the mommy and I’ll be the daddy.” It helps them understand who they are and who they want to be and to iron out the wrinkles of everyday living. For children, however, it’s still mostly…

Sexploration and Sexual Intelligence

Human sexuality is an extremely complex subject and is for many couples a very tender and sensitive issue. It is because of this that some couples do not delve deeper into exploring their sex lives during their first Marriage Quest Retreat, but choose to return to us to do so. While many spouses understand that…

What Lies Behind the Anger of Men?

Anger is the emotion most familiar to men. “Anger is the one strong emotion men typically express,” said Richard Meth and Robert S. Pasick in their book, Men In Therapy. It is right at the surface of the skin, not very threatening, and it validates the masculine image. Anger is readily modeled for boys in…

New Focus on Men, Work, and Therapy

“Our fathers couldn’t communicate their desires.” Robert Bly Why is it that the great majority of men view their work as a necessary evil? Ask men how they really feel about their jobs. You may hear something like this: “I don’t know,” “I never thought about it,” “What’s the difference, who out there really likes what…