Are difficulties in your marriage leaving you searching for a quick fix? Our 3-day Marriage Quest® counseling retreat has been a game-changer for thousands of couples from New England and across the USA. Our expert therapists assess your relationship situation, offering tailored suggestions and tools to help you overcome struggles and build a better future.
Our couples retreats tackle the issues that matter most to you and your partner. Whether you’re focused on one specific goal or facing challenges on multiple fronts, we’ll work together to address your concerns and teach you how to resolve them independently. Our approach is about empowering you with the skills to fish for solutions, not just handing you a temporary fix.
Many couples contemplating divorce feel they have lost compatibility. This can be a distressing realization, but the truth is, you are likely still compatible and just need to cultivate the skills to mend what has been damaged.
Individuals aged 35 to 65 often grapple with profound questions about their life’s meaning, purpose, and direction. Particularly in the workplace, the 40s mark a period of existential exploration, which could lead to a mid life crisis. Feeling valued and recognized significantly contributes to our self-esteem and can either motivate us or stress us out if it’s lacking.
The majority of sexless marriages stem from an emotional disconnect. To not just survive but thrive in a sexless marriage, you and your partner need to engage in a deep discussion about your desires and fantasies, both directly and indirectly related to your
Regardless of the reasons or context for an affair, it’s painful and trust is severely damaged. Regrettably, while divorce may seem like a solution, about 80% of couples who separate due to an emotional affair eventually regret that decision.
Resentment in marriage often accumulates over time due to unresolved conflicts. Unresolved disagreements, traumatic experiences, and other tense moments in your relationship tend to linger and worsen over time if not addressed.
Feeling unheard, misunderstood, or dismissed can lead many couples to question their relationship’s future. Communication therapy for couples is fundamental to every Marriage Quest Retreat, with our aim being to help each spouse feel heard, understood, and respected.
Whether your marriage is in crisis or just needs a little fine-tuning, our intensive marriage retreat can provide you with the tools and insights you need to tackle even the most daunting and seemingly insurmountable issues.
We get results for couples. You might not want to bring your luxury car to a local mechanic for a repair. Most therapists are generalists who work with a variety of people and issues. At Marriage Quest, we specialize in couples retreats.
Whether you are looking for a tune up or a major overhaul, we’ve been there. We’ve helped other couples achieve similar goals. We triage, identify problems, and teach solutions. It’s transformation through warp speed therapy.
Dr David Helfand has an office in St Johnsbury, Vermont.
We are working to expand our offices to other locations around the US and further.
Couples therapy will generally cost anywhere from $5,000 to $10,000 over the course of 365 days. A couples retreat is the same fee, but you will get even better results in only 3 or 4 days.
Please note that the exact fee will vary by therapist and for a weekend or weekday program. Contact us directly for specific pricing. Additionally, a non-refundable deposit is required in order to book your marriage retreat. In some cases, this deposit can be transferred one time.
Yes. Many couples arrive in a sexless or low-sex marriage, and retreats often reignite intimacy by addressing emotional disconnection, rebuilding trust, and resolving long-standing resentments.
No, this is a private retreat for you. There is no group option.
Intensive marriage retreats deliver results in just a few days – a stark contrast to traditional therapy, which can drag on for years without achieving the desired outcomes. Many couples report more progress in our three-day retreat than in over a year of weekly therapy sessions. Retreats are also a time-efficient solution for busy couples, requiring just a few consecutive days rather than an open-ended commitment to weekly sessions.
During a retreat, you can focus on your relationship without distractions, taking a much-needed break from everyday life. Longer sessions allow for in-depth exploration and momentum-building, unlike traditional therapy sessions, which can feel disjointed. The Marriage Quest process was designed to address these issues, providing couples with the luxury of time to delve deeply into any issue and create lasting change.
Weekly therapy sessions can stretch on for months, with emotional conversations often getting cut short by the clock. In contrast, dedicating a few consecutive days to a marriage retreat is a more efficient use of your time.
Imagine having uninterrupted time to work on your relationship, free from the demands of everyday life. A couples retreat gives you and your partner the space to prioritize your relationship and make meaningful progress.
Traditional therapy sessions can feel rushed, with couples often feeling like they’re just getting started when the session ends. The Marriage Quest process was developed to avoid this stop-start approach, instead allowing us to create momentum and dive deep into issues over several hours.
Maintaining a happy marriage takes effort, and many people lack the skills to navigate the challenges that arise in long-term romantic relationships. We believe that every couple has the potential for a fulfilling and satisfying marriage, and our goal is to equip you with the right tools to make that happen.
During our marriage retreat Massachusetts, we’ll teach you the skills you need and coach you on how to apply them effectively with your partner. Once your relationship has been given a fighting chance, we can have an honest conversation about compatibility if necessary.
Research has shown that the overall success of any marriage counseling is about 70 to 90%. This is usually based on couples that have been in therapy for many months or years. We see the same results in about 3 days.
A Marriage Quest couples retreat is like warp speed therapy. Imagine a really good counseling session and all of the benefits that come from it. Now imagine a dozen of back-to-back sessions that are able to build momentum and go deeper because of the luxury of time each day.
Most couples are looking to save their marriage, yet others are looking for relief from their painful situation. They are satisfied if they can separate with grace and dignity knowing that they’ve tried everything and knowing that they will be kind co-parents for their children.
Traditional marriage counseling often separates the couple so that either the same therapist sees each partner one at a time or the spouses both see two different counselors to deal with marital issues. If your marriage is in crisis, then the marriage must be in therapy.
During your retreat, our focus is on holding both of you accountable to improving the relationship and achieving your goals. We also start meeting with you as a couple from the very beginning of the retreat including the intake process.
Another benefit of a retreat is the momentum we can create during the multiple hours we meet with you. Many couples have told us how frustrating it is to just start getting to the root of an issue when the therapist tells them their time is up for today.
While the gold standard of success during a marriage intensive is that the couple is able to reconcile and improve their marriage, there are other useful outcomes. Some couples really are no longer compatible with each other, and it’s in the best interest of their health and happiness as well as their children’s wellbeing for them to separate amicably.
They’ve come to realize that while they may love and care about each other very much, they might not lust each other or even like each other very much. When this is the case, it is bittersweet to decide to lovingly let go and move on, but this is often the best way to find peace and happiness for both individuals.
During more than a decade of professional service, Dr David Helfand (or Dr H) has helped hundreds of couples create a happier marriage and a more fulfilling life. He has been interviewed by multiple news organizations about his specialties in neuroscience, clinical psychology, mindfulness, and sex and intimacy. He uses his background in clinical psychology, neuroscience, and solution-focused therapy to help every client that enters his office.
Dr H is currently working on a training program to expand the Marriage Quest model to other areas of the country and eventually to international locations outside the United States.
Our philosophy on marriage counseling is centered around the belief that your marriage deserves to be prioritized. We understand the immense trust you place in us when you entrust your marriage to our care. The goal of our couples therapy retreat is to equip you with a process that you can continue to apply even after you return home to Massachusetts. Our Marriage Quest Retreats, refined over four decades, are designed to deliver significant results in a very short period of time.
Our success lies in our focus on teaching effective couples communication and holding you accountable during sessions. We assist you in discussing issues related to sex and intimacy, and guide you on how to self-regulate and manage your emotional triggers. If a childhood wound or life trauma seems to be undermining your marriage, we employ experiential therapy to foster healing. We accomplish a great deal of work in a relatively short period of time by gauging just how much to push each of you for optimal growth. The process is deep, meaningful, and intense.
We work with one couple at a time to address your specific needs and tailor the process for optimal growth and learning. Most couples in crisis choose a 3-day program, however Dr David Helfand at Marriage Quest offers 2-4 day programs depending on the needs of the couple. Every couples intensive is a custom designed retreat experience to help teach you a better approach to relationship issues, and hopefully create a deeper relationship between you and your spouse. Please review a general curriculum below.
After completing the registration process, we will send you a relationship questionnaire and access to our online couples course so that you can be most prepared for your retreat. Your questionnaire will allow us to prepare as well.
Please arrive the day before your retreat to settle into your hotel or Air BnB so that you are ready to start fresh the next morning. Some couples come in two days prior so they can explore the area or account for travel delays and jet lag. Retreats generally start at 10am and end around 1pm each day.
We have found that 3 hours is the optimal learning curve for most couples. People are generally most fulfilled after 3 hours of intensive therapy and find that a nap, lunch, and time to process gives them the best outcomes.
We begin by talking about marriage: what are the components of a happy marriage, what are the common challenges, how does sex fit into a healthy marriage, etc. Then we take a detailed history on each of you: about your family of origin, your cultural and religious influences, your current family situation, as well the roots of your romantic and sexual involvement with each other.
We then switch gears and begin various tutorials and behavioral exercises focused on your specific needs. While you practice with each other and we coach you through your new skills. Many couples often feel exhausted at the end of the day and take a nap to recharge for the evening.
We will start by checking in on yesterday’s experience as well as your afternoon and evening together. Day 2 is usually the heavy lifting day, and we have 3 hours together to accomplish what we need to. We are going to address the topics that must be covered during your retreat in order to either work on your relationship goals or help you make a decision about the future of your marriage. We will guide you safely through those sensitive conversations by making sure you follow the guidelines for effective communication. This often means we interrupt a lot in the beginning, but as you become more comfortable and experienced, we will let you lead the discussion while guiding as needed.
Some spouses benefit from a brief individual meeting to discuss personal topics or work privately on some of the skills. When appropriate, we plan some time to address these topics with each spouse individually before integrating that work back into the relationship.
The third day is when we help you put together all of the information you have learned during the prior two days. We will discuss aftercare recommendations, topics regarding parenting, and wrap up any topics from the previous days. For couples that are considering separation or divorce, Day 3 is a pivotal moment. We will help you determine future compatibility and make a decision about the marriage. Day two is 2-3 hours depending on the therapist.
The primary reason to schedule a fourth day is if trauma is impacting your marriage. People who have experienced childhood trauma in particular tend to be more sensitive. If one or both spouses enter fight-or-flight frequently during their interactions, then this is a sign that trauma work might be necessary in order to repair the relationship. It is highly recommended that your partner observe your trauma work during the retreat as it often creates deeper understanding and increased empathy.
Please note that currently only Dr. David Helfand offers the option of a 4-Day retreat.
Between each day of the retreat, you will be practicing the communications skills you are learning, talking to each other on a new deeper level about how your relationship began and grew (or did not grow), about your hopes and dreams for your self and for your relationship together, your regrets and sorrows, and where you see things going. In addition we will suggest other activities to do together, and hope that you can have some fun and relaxation after the day’s intensive session. Self reflection assignment are also often part of this process.
At the end of your retreat, we will review your customized aftercare plan. This often includes therapeutic recommendations, suggestions to continue improving communication skills, general ongoing homework, and applying what you learned once you return home.
We also offer virtual support after the retreat. Due to state licensing laws, this support is educational rather than clinical and may vary by therapist. Your provider will review the details with you on the last day of your program.
Some couples find that shorter tune-ups and maintanence sessions are helpful after their retreat. These options will also be discussed on the final day.
Couples are often blown away by how much work we can accomplish in such a short time. Have you ever had a really transformative therapy session? Imagine a dozen of them back-to-back over three days. The difference is we know what we are looking for, and therefore, where to go, and we do not waste time getting there. That is why we have always claimed that it is “short term therapy with long term results”. Oh, and did I mention warp speed therapy.
Note: we combine cognitive behavioral with experiential therapy, a powerful combination of treatment modalities that not only teach skills but can heal past trauma.
When you agree to a date, we send you the Sign-up paperwork to complete with payment information. Upon payment in full or the deposit portion, we give you the Questionnaire for each of you to complete. This helps you to prepare for the retreat and relax from dealing with your current issues (?)
During your retreat, our focus is on teaching you healthy communication skills and holding both of you accountable to improving your relationship and achieving your goals, whatever that might be. After teaching you the foundational skills, we explore each of your relationship strengths and challenges and offer support and guidance as needed. We have the option of meeting with one of you alone if it’s determined that it will serve your marriage and your personal goals. Since we work with one couple at a time, we have a lot of flexibility.
During your retreat, our focus is on teaching you healthy communication skills and holding both of you accountable to improving your relationship and achieving your goals, whatever that might be. After teaching you the foundational skills, we explore each of your relationship strengths and challenges and offer support and guidance as needed. We have the option of meeting with one of you alone if it’s determined that it will serve your marriage and your personal goals. Since we work with one couple at a time, we have a lot of flexibility.
No. Insurance only pays for traditional models of care such as weekly therapy.
In a loving and peaceful way. Tell them that you love them and are feeling ____, perhaps lonely, depressed, anxious, unhappy, etc. Don’t ask any questions; just share that you are ready to do something about it and would like nothing more than to heal with them.
When you are ready to get help, you are welcome to contact us about available dates for a couples retreat. Some couples prefer to schedule a phone consultation or ask questions via email, and any of our well trained therapists are happy to offer a free consultation before signing up for a marriage program.
