Why Am I Considering A Divorce?
Considering a divorce is a huge step. Obviously, you have been stressed out lately and probably feeling very disconnected from your spouse. There have likely been some rough times between the two of you, arguing, stress in the whole family, maybe even some emotional or physical abuse. It’s normal to question the long-term viability of your marriage when this is your daily experience. While stress is normal in a marriage, long-term stress is not healthy for anyone in the family.
What To Know When Considering Divorce
It’s good to get some professional advice if you are considering a divorce. Just like with any medical situation, there are professionals who can help you sort out your thoughts and feelings as well as your options. Some marriage therapists will only side with you and want the best for you alone without considering your spouse or family. Look at the big picture. Maybe what feels like a crisis is actually an opportunity for growth and change for you and all of your family members.
The Reality of Divorce
Divorce changes a couple’s lifestyle, their roles, their friendship circles, and it changes the meaning of the world. When couples have tried all they could do to save a marriage and “failed,” the losses they experience can be overwhelming, however the changes can be relieving. It is a time of significant stress for all family members emotionally, physically, financially, and spiritually.
For couples who believe they have done everything they can do to save the marriage to no avail and are going to consider divorce, the major goal is to desensitize you and your partner to the idea of divorce and stimulate personal growth by preparing each of you for your new role as a single or separated person.
It is important to learn creative problem solving regarding the many changes that occur in lifestyles after separation, such as raising children in two single-parent households, loss of social support from friends, and loss of emotional support from the former spouse. Divorce can be respectful and help both partners continue to grow and thrive when it is handled appropriately. This can be a complicated process.
I'm Worried We're No Longer Compatible
Many couples who are considering starting the divorce process are questioning their compatibility and have either never sought professional support or have experienced marriage counseling in the past that actually made their situation worse.
The truth is that most couples really are compatible, but they have never been taught how to be in a longterm romantic relationship. A Marriage Quest Retreat can help you improve communication, repair from past hurts, and finally make a decision about the future of your relationship.
Many People Regret Getting Divorced
About 40% of couples report regretting getting divorced, and that number increases to 80% if the separation was due to an affair. This is often because with time comes clarity, and people start to recognize possible ways they could have saved their marriage while at the same time experiencing delayed empathy or perspective for the situation and their partner.
It really does take two to make a marriage work. It also usually takes two people to create unhappy marriages. Spouses that did not see their role in the dis-ease of their marriage, now see their part in the breakdown and leave with a new empowered perspective.