Even just the thought “we should get a divorce” can cause a lot of mixed feelings and confusion from the current state of anger, frustration, hurt, guilt, and shame to a renewed hope and excitement for some relief. You may be wondering if anything can help with your situation. Are three days at a couples retreat actually enough to help you determine if you should get divorced or not? Can you actually get the needed skills in such a short period of time? Will learning these skills make a significant change in your troubled marriage?
Can An Intensive Couples Retreat Help Us?
Yes. A good intensive couples retreat can help you if you are considering a divorce and want some professional guidance. It is a safe place to discuss your disappointments as well as desires for your marriage. More importantly, it’s a place to open your heart and work towards what would make both of you happy. It is a place to sort things out and make an informed decision after learning what a healthy marriage looks like and comparing your marriage to this golden standard. You can then determine if the two of you can accomplish these personal and relationship goals equipped with new tools for your tool box.
Should We Get A Divorce?
Many couples wonder if they are compatible or not because of all of the stress they’ve experienced. You might wonder if you should get divorced or attempt to work on things together. In reality you probably never received the manual on how to have a happy marriage. Moreover, you probably never learned good self-regulation and stress management skills. Living as a couple requires new skills and more self-understanding than life as a single person. Strengthening these skills will help you to clarify if you are truly compatible or not.
Will I Ever Feel Relief?
If you‘ve been on the fence about getting a divorce, you probably understand the pain of being in limbo. You may feel like you will be in this limbo land forever.
That is a common experience when dealing with big life decisions—weighing the pros and cons over and over—not sure which option is best. It makes sense to want to find some resolution for this decision. Most couples we see are exhausted. So if you think you are sick and tired it is only a matter of time before you really are sick and run down!
Intensive Couples Retreat If You Have Children
Considering a divorce is a big decision whether you have children or not. With children to consider, it is usually a major life decision with a lot of careful thought and debate. If you don’t have children or a business together, it is easier to untangle your life as a couple, let go, and move on.
We often hear couples say they plan on staying together “for the sake of the kids” and they will split up after the kids are out of the house. Many adult children of divorced parents have told us that they wished their parents had divorced long ago; the fighting was more torture than if they had separated and divorced. A happy divorce is better than an unhappy marriage for everyone in the household.
The biggest problem here is the potential for that type of behavior and thinking to be passed on to the next generation. If your child was 30 or 40 years old and came to you for advice for their unhappy marriage, would you suggest that they stick it out for the kids? Quite the opposite, you would probably tell them to seek guidance, try to understand what is going on and why, see if you can fix it, and if not split up as calmly as possible for the sake of your children.
What Is A Grey Divorce?
A grey divorce is when a couple in their later years decides to let go of their marriage and move on. This usually happens after the children have left the nest. Spouses look at each other and realize that they don’t have much in common anymore. Today, many people are living into their 80s and 90s. So, if they are unhappily married and can’t seem to renew and rekindle their relationship, it might make sense to change the living situation.
If you stayed together for the sake of family but don’t have much more in common, you may decide that a divorce is the best decision. If you can afford to split up it might make sense to lovingly separate out your home. Know that you can still be friendly and cordial at future family gatherings and events.
What Happens On A Couples Retreat?
During your retreat, our focus is on holding both of you accountable. This will ensure that you learn the skills to improve your relationship and achieve your goals. While your marriage might not be strong, your relationship together can be healthier and calmer no matter what. Many couples are pleasantly surprised to realize that their marriage is in better shape than they had previously thought.
On a 3 day retreat we have enough time to get to the bottom of it all and truly explore viable solutions. You may be surprised that you actually can rekindle your relationship with new skills for a better future together. Let us help you explore your situation and make a wise decision about whether to divorce or not.
If you are ready to consider a couples retreat and are already considering divorce, use the button below to learn more about how we can help you and your spouse navigate this very difficult time. We’re here to help.